Why You Get What You Focus On

Quick question:

Did you ever buy a car, a then noticed the same type of car suddenly appearing everywhere, in your street, in your city, in advertisements, in the news?

I had the same feeling a couple of years ago – and I led me to realize something very strange about my relationship with my wife, and it completely changed the way I look at my marriage.

I’m gonna tell you that story in a second.

My name is Tom from Couplific; we help couples get the passion back.

Just really quick, if you are someone who thinks about how to improve your relationship quite often, then go to passionback.com where you download the Couplific Passion Back guide for free.

And now, let me tell you about what happened when I bought that car.

A couple of years ago, I was shopping for a new car. It should be big enough for our family – we have two kids, and since we like to go on vacations by car, it had to have a big trunk.

And I found this car, a minivan – the Volkswagen Sharan, similar to the Dodge Caravan. It’s got seven seats, it was perfect.

I looked at all the photos on the websites, and I searched for prices on car dealer sites

And I read forum comments of people who already owned that type of car, read about what kind of experiences they had with their car.

I pictured myself driving around in that Volkswagen Sharan, driving my family to a summer vacation in that car.

So I was completely focused on that specific type of car.

And you know what happened?

Suddenly, I saw this specific type of car appearing all around.

Suddenly, there were all those Volkswagen Sharans driving around my city, driving around in Vienna.

And I thought to myself – how come that suddenly EVERYBODY is buying and driving that car?

Was there a major discount of some sort,  am I missing out on a deal, or what is the reason?

And that’s when it hit me.

Of course, the cars have been there all the time all along.

I just wasn’t noticing them before.

And when I started my research to buy a new car and decided this Volkswagen Sharan, I was so focused on that specific car that my mind said to itself

“Okay, this specific car seems important. So I’m going to look out for it.”

So my mind began to pay more attention automatically and  it made myself aware of that fact that

“Ah, there is another Volkswagen Sharan.”

“Oh, and there’s another one.”

Of course, the reality was that the cars have been there all the time.

It was just that I wasn’t focused on them before. And now I was focusing, and in doing so

training my mind to identify those cars.

So, my point is this:

my DECISION to FOCUS on that specific car


CHANGED my AWARENESS of my environment.

And why does this matter in your relationship?

Because your decisions on what you focus on determine the perception of reality in your relationship

You decide what you FOCUS on.

And your focus determines what you perceive as being REAL.

If you focus on  all the circumstances and situations that annoy you in your relationship and in your partner

Your mind will pay attention to those situations and thereby you keep attracting those situations

And even making up situations, interpreting them as being “annoying.” (when in fact, they are not really that annoying.)

So it keeps getting worse and worse.

And you lose the passion, the intimacy, the love for each other.

The good news is you have control over what you focus on.

If you decide, consciously decide

that from now on you will focus on things that are good in your relationship

And focus on the good things that you want to make happen in your relationship

You will train your mind to identify good situations, like I did train my mind to pay attention to this specific type of car, you will train your mind to identify

Good situations

Good emotions

Good feelings

And your mind will let you pay more attention to those situations.

And in doing so, you will make it easier and more likely to actually influence your reality, influence your relationship.

by changing your own behavior

to get those things that you want

in your relationship

and from your relationship

If you focus on what you DON’T WANT you keep attracting things that you don’t want.

But if you change your focus to the things that you WANT…  

The sky is the limit.

Does this make sense to you?

If it does, then please share it with your friends and family members who might find it useful, too.

And if you want a full guide on how to control your focus to bring the passion back, click here to download the PassionBack guide for free.

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